Celebrating Losing Baseball

Why is it so many Sox Fans absolutely hate ESPN?  The list is probably endless.  How often they ignored us on Baseball Tonight, even as we captured a division crown with 95 wins.  How often they talked endlessly about whoever it was on the Boston Red Sox suffering from a hangnail.  Most of all, how quickly the Sox disappeared from sight once they exited the playoffs.  For homerun-happy ESPN, the only baseball event worth covering in Chicago is the latest loopy swing by Sammy Sosa.

You wonder why the modern game of baseball continues to lose popularity to other sports?  Could it be ESPN's inability to communicate any of baseball's subtlety?  They think thoughtful introspection comes from Peter Gammons?  Think again!

So it can hardly be surprising ESPN would completely botch a story about the growing trend across the country for baseball fans to throw back opponent's homerun balls.  To hear ESPN tell it, Cubs fans started this tradition as a form of protest for losing.

WRONG!!!!

Throwing back homerun balls isn't a protest for losing--it's simply the most pathetic manifestation of Cubs fans' belief that losing is cute!  

Jim Caple and the rest of the dolts at ESPN need to spend some time watching the giggling laughter that accompanies each ball tossed back at Wrigley.  Do these people look upset?  Are these people protesting?  I hardly think so.

Ignoring the losing effort on the field has been turned into an art form by Cubs fans.  They will do ANYTHING to occupy their time while the Cubs lose.  Watch the ivy grow, talk on the cell phone, drink themselves into a stupor, steal a player's cap, watch for the fullest bikini top, sing with some lame celebrity each seventh inning, and most of all think of ever-more stupid platitudes about baseball in the sunshine and "beauuuu-tiful Wrigley Field."  They think they're intelligent because they can parrot back what they just heard Chimp Caray say?  What a joke!

And of course ESPN completely missed the deception at the core of this losers' tradition at Wrigley Field--the fact that the original bleacher bums weren't throwing back homerun balls, but worthless ones they carried to the game to get autographs.  They weren't dumb enough to throw back a valuable homerun ball, but the morons across the country who now mimic them are. 

Does anyone in Connecticut understand the subtle deception of a Chicago "fix"?  What a bunch of pollyannas!  They think they're so sophisticated, but they're just as dumb as the tourists from Iowa.  Sox Fans laugh at these fools!

If crafty Chicagoans can fix a courtroom, don't you think we know how to pocket a homerun ball?  You people are idiots!

The line of America's gullible fools forms outside the ticket windows at Wrigley Field.  The fools from ESPN are at the front of that line.