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In honor of actor Andy Garcia and his (unintentionally) hilarious reaction to Sofia (Mary Corleone) Coppola's death scene in "The Godfather, Part III."
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"Greatest White Sox Team of All Time" simulation tournament

Posted 05-15-2009 at 03:50 PM by TommyJohn

So I decided to have a little fun with my "Greatest White Sox Team of All-Time" rankings and submit them to a tournament to see who would beat who over a seven-game series. Now I have no delusions about how such scenarios would actually play out. It would be enormous fun if we could somehow get all these teams together and see them play-and how it would turn out. For now, though, I turn to whatifsports.com computer simulations. Kind of stinks in that I would much rather do it the old-fashioned way-with APBA. However, they don't have those individual teams available (I'd have to pay through the nose to get a bunch of teams I'd never use). So WIF is my best bet.

A word about WIF-it is kind of fun, but it fails on a certain level. Computers could never factor in the human element, it just goes by stats. Example-I replayed both Super Bowl I and Super Bowl II. The Packers lost both games. I need not point out how laughable those results are. So the computer is not perfect. I merely use it as a device around which to craft a story.

Oh, and another thing about WIF. If you ever go on there, stay away from the forums. A few of the people on there are Cub fans and they are foul cretins-the type you want to meet so you could punch them in the face. They have us down as coach-beating methheads. Yes, you read that correctly. They are the type of people who would greet a post of "I'm a White Sox fan" with a bunch of personal attacks and other bull****. In other words, lowlife scum.

Rant over. For the first part of the tourney, I cut the 10 teams down to 8-this evens it at 4-4 and makes things easier. I eliminated 1919 and 2008. Why those two? Simple. They are close in time to other championship clubs (1917 and 2005) that have many of the same players. Plus, they were lower in my rankings than those two clubs. So, they were out. Next, I took the top four and bottom four and made them into two brackets, ranking them from 1 to 4 according to their records. My first round match-ups were:

1906 vs. 1917
1901 vs. 1959
1983 vs. 1993
2000 vs. 2005

I have run those simulations already and will post the results soon. I will also TRY to liven it up a bit by crafting a story about how Chicago in general would react to such a series. In my imagination (since this is all computer-generated) generations of White Sox fans, players and owners will come together to be a part of this tournament. Mayor Richard J. Daley will be in attendance, as will Nelson Algren, James T. Farrell, Charles Comiskey, Bill Veeck and President Barack Obama. "Squeaky" Ken Burns might bother to show up. We will also hear from Cub fans Biff and Chad, as well as Greg Couch, Rick Morrissey and Dave Kaplan.

Results of round 1 soon.
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