These headlines were inspired by the book "Our Dumb Century" by the writers of the Onion. They took historic headlines and put a comic twist on them. I started to think "what kind of headlines would we have seen if the Tribune owned the Cubs in 1901? I went to work. Funny, though-I could not come up with a good headline for 1906 (Sox beat Cubs in World Series) or 1919-20 (Black Sox Scandal). Those two events alone are ripe for comedy.

Anyway, I came up with these, along...

Parque, Schoenweis named in Mitchell Report
Both were teammates of members of 2005 White Sox

McGrath: "Championship" tainted forever

Sullivan: Parque and Schoenweis' 10 worst moments with players who went on to play for 2005 White Sox

"I knew my boys would be on the list! They didn't let me down!" -William Ligue, Convicted Felon and World's Number 1 White Sox Fan

Trib Editorial: Steroid Scandal worst since Black Sox....

Last week:

SLAMMIN' SAMMY HITS 600!
Former Cub legend hits milestone home run, cementing a legacy he dearly wanted to leave. Hall of Fame next?

Sullivan: Put him in now, stupid people. Sammy is a Cubbie icon

Rogers: Poor Sammy. He left his last Cub game early because he was mad at Dusty. Who could blame him?

A look back at all of Slammin' Sammy's greatest hits


This week:


Thomas hits 500...

A guy in Ohio was arrested for indecent exposure for masturbating in public. He was wearing a "White Sox 2005 World Champions" shirt at the time of his exposure and arrest:

White Sox fan arrested, charged with indecent exposure
Fan was wearing "White Sox World Champions" t-shirt in public place

"It will be extremely difficult to convince everyone that the White Sox have no fans if we keep seeing this" said Trib official who called police...

Uribe cleared of all charges
Sox shortstop exonerated after "investigation"

O.J. Simpson, Robert Blake, Ray Lewis, Claus von Bulow and Bernard Goetz call to congratulate Uribe

"You got over! Alright!" They all tell him.

McGrath Editorial: If Sox fans can't stay out of jail at least Sox players can

Dusty Baker: "where's the outrage? If something like this had happened to Sammy Sosa, you guys would've [criticized]...