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  #16  
Old 09-14-2012, 12:03 AM
amsteel amsteel is offline
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Orlando Hudson will be hired as a Spanish translator despite not speaking Spanish. Upon learning this, management decides to duct tape his mouth shut the rest of the weekend.
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  #17  
Old 09-14-2012, 11:57 AM
QueerGirrl QueerGirrl is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BainesHOF View Post
Phillip Humber's autographs begin perfectly readable before degenerating into an unintelligible scribble.
Hahaha!! You guys are awesome.
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Stop doing the wave! What the hell is wrong with you people?!?! Pay attention to the game!!!!
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  #18  
Old 09-14-2012, 12:20 PM
Rocky Soprano Rocky Soprano is offline
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Hawk will be giving complimentary eye exams.
*MLB Umps have been invited.
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  #19  
Old 09-14-2012, 12:24 PM
eriqjaffe eriqjaffe is offline
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Brent Morel will show up and hope somebody remembers him.
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  #20  
Old 09-14-2012, 12:24 PM
DeadMoney DeadMoney is offline
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The Opening Ceremonies will be scheduled for 7 PM, but at the last minute the White Sox will change the time to 1 PM because one player and a few members of the front office have prior commitments (that they've known about for months).
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  #21  
Old 09-14-2012, 12:26 PM
Rocky Soprano Rocky Soprano is offline
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Kenny Williams will not be in attendance due to high admission prices and only having 50 cents to spend.
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  #22  
Old 09-14-2012, 01:06 PM
Harry Potter Harry Potter is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DeadMoney View Post
The Opening Ceremonies will be scheduled for 7 PM, but at the last minute the White Sox will change the time to 1 PM because one player and a few members of the front office have prior commitments (that they've known about for months).
Oy vey!
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2014 Attendance Record: 14-11
Next Game: Fri 8/29 vs. Tigers

2013 Attendance Record: 11-22
2012 Attendance Record: 29-22
2011 Attendance Record: 15-19
2010 Attendance Record: 18-10
2009 Attendance Record: 5-9
2008 Attendance Record: 21-10
2007 Attendance Record: 6-14
2006 Attendance Record: 20-9

https://twitter.com/KJKobs
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  #23  
Old 09-14-2012, 01:10 PM
amsteel amsteel is offline
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Matt Thornton shows up, Sox fans try to kill him.
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  #24  
Old 09-14-2012, 01:12 PM
amsteel amsteel is offline
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Jordan Danks gives an exquisite, in-depth answer to a particularly challenging question from the audience. Is immediately asked to leave the Palmer House.
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  #25  
Old 09-14-2012, 01:35 PM
DeadMoney DeadMoney is offline
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All of our Major League relievers have pretty good autograph sessions the first two days, but on the third day Robin Ventura inexplicably tells them to go home and has minor leaguers take over their sessions.
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  #26  
Old 09-14-2012, 01:46 PM
mrfourni mrfourni is offline
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Kenny Williams will originally report that Chris Sale will move from a regular autograph session to only signing autographs when other players arms were tired. Sale will make a phone call and change KW's mind shortly after the announcement is made.
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  #27  
Old 09-14-2012, 01:52 PM
amsteel amsteel is offline
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The Palmer House is shut down 2 days before Soxfest due to a faulty sprinkler system.

Coop fixes it.
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  #28  
Old 09-14-2012, 02:00 PM
eriqjaffe eriqjaffe is offline
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Adam Dunn signs the most awesome autographs ever sometimes, but more often than not completely fails to make contact with the paper.
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  #29  
Old 09-14-2012, 02:13 PM
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ChiSoxGal85 ChiSoxGal85 is offline
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Dayan Viciedo tries to sign autographs, but his pen moves so quickly that it keeps lighting the paper on fire.
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  #30  
Old 09-14-2012, 02:26 PM
shingo10 shingo10 is offline
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Jordan Danks will try to replace the Tank at an autograph table but trip and fall, knocking the table over.
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